Forty Days, Holy Nights, and Faking Your Own Death

Today is the forty day anniversary of my father's death. In Bosnian culture, 40 days marks a time of remembrance. You light a candle and let it burn all day, pray, observing the death, the life. In Bosnia, all the family would get together for breakfast, go visit the gravesite, and then light the candle and hang out all day. I'm American and my father has no real grave, so I'm not going to do this, but I'm lighting a candle all day. Then tonight, I suppose I'd be paying homage in the best way I know how, singing with a tamburitza orchestra for "Christmas in Croatia."

Bosnian, Serbian, Croatian, American. My dad was all of these. How fitting. I'll be singing "O Holy Night." Also fitting.

In trying to look up more about Bosnian funeral customs, I came across this downright hilarious piece. It's about a Bosnian man who faked his own death see how many people would attend his funeral, only to write an infuriated letter to his "friends" once he saw only his mother cared enough to mourn.

This type of story is just the kind that would send my father into fits of laughter. He loved jokes and he loved to tell funny stories. Even Wikipedia has a page on "Comedy in Bosnia and Herzegovina". If my dad wasn't telling hilarious stories about his brother-in-law or his childhood, he would tell the ever popular Mujo, Suljo, and Haso jokes that are pervasive in Bosnian culture. Everyone over there knows these jokes. There are whole websites dedicated to them, and now there are sites that host video sketches of the jokes.

I'm trying to remember my dad how I best knew him, not the as the anamoly of a personality I experienced of his during his last months. Many times it wasn't him, but the cancer talking.

I love my dad, with all my heart. And this photo is how I remember him. Don't bother calling professionals! We'll chop down fifty foot trees ourselves! In true Serbo-Croatian Bosnian style!