Create a will. Even if you are not rich or don't think you need one. At the very least, pull out some paper, write down some ideas about what you would wish to happen when you die, sign and date and keep somewhere safe. Oh, and tell someone where it is. I implore you.
The reason is, my dad didn't. I understand why not, but it made his last days of care, funeral arrangements, and what to do with his few belongings traumatic, and gut-wrenchingly difficult. Don't leave it up to chance, figuring you don't really care what happens. If that is the case, tell your family exactly what "I don't care what you do" means. It is foolish and selfish to assume there will be anything less than turmoil and anguish surrounding what to do with you and your belongings, no matter how meager, once you've passed. Working in the financial industry, I come across surviving family members left mired in financial documents saying, "Oh, he just didn't want to talk about it, he didn’t want to prepare, it was too hard." I know it's hard. But it’s hard on those left behind too.
Also, be specific. For example, don't tell your significant other to give your CD collection away at the funeral as guests exit, then adding, “unless you want some of them for yourself.” He or she will be torn between giving away free music 'cause that's what you wanted and tearing the copy of The Best of Morissey out of Aunt Hilda’s hands because that was playing when you first met. This is a mixed signal. When you are gone, your words are gold. Their value skyrockets and those left behind can't know what you would have wanted unless you are crystal clear.
So. Please. Make a will. If you want to get fancy, follow some additional simple steps outlined below. If you are stinkin' rich - get your lawyer and financial advisor on the line and they'll take care of the rest.
Extra Tips to Prepare for The Stuff No One Wants to Talk About:
1. Designate Durable Powers of Attorney. There is one for Health Care/Medical and Finances. Here's a sample - they often go by state. Choose someone responsible, able and willing to be in a tough situation. You will both need to sign a form and some states require a notarized signature. (If you are married and do not choose your spouse, I think they might have to sign off on that, not sure.)
2. Think about Advance Directives and Do Not Resuscitate Orders, again, check with your state. How do you feel about “end of life” care and extra measures to keep you alive? Do you know? If you feel you cannot make the decision, there are guidelines based on ethical views of legislative, medical, or religious teachings. These sources may help you sort your thoughts and feelings.
3. Consider organ donation, if you believe it is a good decision for you and your family. This can be listed in the above forms, and kept on record with the Secretary of State (just Google yours) in conjunction with your driver’s license.
4. Write down your wishes for your funeral or lack thereof. Make sure you add all details, cremation or burial, religious customs to add or avoid, people you want to be there or not, etc.
5. Draft a simple will, for a small fee on Nolo.com you can get one. It doesn’t matter how much stuff you have or how valuable you think it is. A jean shirt, ratty, worn, paint-spattered…it’s worth it to know who it belongs to.
6. Let someone (see #1) you know have a copy, tell them the location, or store
in a safe deposit box, again letting someone know where this is.
These decisions can't be made hastily, and perhaps that is why people don’t make them at all. But make them. You can change your mind while you are still living at any time. At the very least, begin to have conversations with those closest to you about these things. It’s hard, but avoiding it would be careless.
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I'm curious to see what you are thinking...