Why I've Never Asked For a Raise

I was recently given a boatload of new responsibilities at work. I won’t go into the gory details to protect the innocent, but let’s just say it was unexpected and has sent my workflow into a tailspin. I was divulging the particulars to a good friend who then asked, “I’m assuming you asked for remuneration?”

And my answer was a terse and confident, “No Way.”

I don’t ask for raises. I never have. I feel like a pansy for this but then I thought about it a bit more. I like my job, but I like my husband and my sanity more. While I’m committed to doing the best job I possibly can at work, I have things to do after 5pm.

Asking for a raise is like agreeing to go on a fancy dinner date with a guy you don’t really like. You say yes. You go on the date. It’s not unbearable, and he spends over $100. You are impressed and flattered. You feel compelled to put out, even though you are not totally committed to him.

Asking for a raise is the equivalent of going steady with your job. You are telling your job, “I love you, I want more of you…” Do you really like it that much? I mean, unless you’ve found a job you can marry, it doesn’t seem worth it to me.

A raise initiated by your boss is meant to be a reward for a job well done or simply fair to keep pace with the cost of living. A raise you secure by request is your promise to work harder, that you are ready to raise the bar on your current level of involvement. Which is great for a long-term relationship, for building a career.

While I didn’t negotiate for more pay, I did let my boss know that the new responsibilities would have to take the place of some current ones. He agreed and everyone is happy.