Fear in the Blank

Have you ever found yourself staring listlessly into a blank void?

Have you ever encountered too many choices, that you select none?

Have you ever convinced yourself that even one small step in the right direction was useless?

This is such a common enemy, there are many like you out there, rest assured. I'm talking about the fear of a blank form.

My husband meets sheer terror in our mailbox - oft piled with duplicate copies of things to complete, provide verification of, or pay for. He happily forwent making any financial decisions if it meant he'd never have to complete another form. I simply tell him where to sign these days.

I'm like a blank form renegade.

I can grill a customer service representative to complete perfection.

“Office Use Only” you say? I’ll show you.

Believe it or not, this is a common problem. And believe it or not, I think there is an art to filling out blank forms accurately and completely. They are made by engineers or people whose job it is to cram as much into as little space as possible with total disregard for sentence formation or how the human mind perceives things. These puzzles of the mind are meant to be decoded.

For anyone who refuses to fund their 401K’s because the paperwork is “scary,” this post is for you:

How to Fill in a Blank Form

1. Give Yourself Ample Time. Even a one page form could require you to hunt down obscure info like where your father went to college.

2. Identify, then Circle, the Customer Service Number. If provided, make sure you attempt to call if you get confused. Once you have a human on the line (which is why number 1 is so crucial) do not let them off the phone until you understand everything. Even if you have to restate things multiple times, slowly. That’s their job. And don't let them bully you with the "I have a time limit for my calls, ma'am" trick.

3. Read EVERY word, Grade-school Style. Take a pen, your finger, or other pointing device and go word by word, line by line. You will miss something if you don’t.

4. Once Complete, Repeat. Make sure you’ve done it right. If you want to get dangerous, have a friend check it. Also, watch for tricky things like signature instructions. Sometimes they have to be witnessed or notorized!

5. Make a Copy. Of everything. The form, the address, who you spoke to, or if you really want to get ruthless, their employee ID. Dating, copying, and documenting each step of the way can reduce future hassles. This is particularly crucial if the form is of a legal or financial nature.

You are now armed with an arsenal of tactics to get your paperwork done! Enjoy!