Honor Thy Tiredness

I am starting to believe the term “mid-afternoon slump” is a fairy tale phrase devised by marketing execs for energy bar and beverage companies alike to get you to buy their crap for a sugar or caffeine high to make it through your grueling day. Similar to how the word cellulite didn’t exist until the 1970’s so companies could begin hawking thigh creams and exercise regimens; the mid-afternoon slump didn’t truly exist either. It had a perfectly good name when you were a child: naptime.

I’m sitting at work, my breathing pattern slowing, my eyelids fighting for the glow of fluorescent lights. Unnerved I think, “Oh no! I’m tired!” As if there is something wrong with me, not my lifestyle. The mid-afternoon slump is natural and should be heeded. It’s your body’s unmistakable way of telling you you do too much. You need renewal, not a Red Bull. When you feel those lids getting heavy, it’s time to get busy – siesta anyone?

There is no concoction out there that can substitute for a healthy, balanced life. No level of electrolytes and vitamins that will truly perk you up. All you’ll get is the equivalent of an old, shlumping woman who’s been propped up with plastic surgery – a disturbing and obvious fake. You know what I’m talking about. That person in your office who is always alarmingly alert as if they are a character on 24: walking fast, talking louder than necessary, hair slightly disheveled, puffy eyes. I’ve been there.

You can also tell the real deal, someone who is rested, satisfied, without the requisite Diet Coke in hand. They are pleasant, calm, and somewhat mysterious in their lack of constant panic. Or maybe they've got prescription drugs. Who knows.

But, I’m beginning to think that people who have a freakish natural ability to sustain long work hours, become envigorated by it, and remain healthy are the work/life balance counterparts of modeling's Giselle Bundchen. God gave her a body that is truly a genetic mistake, beautiful, but a rare occurrence to be sure. One glance at the average body will inform you – not everyone is meant to wear only lingerie to work. Likewise, the average worker is not meant to sustain constant levels of stress over long hours and still feel enlivened by it.

Workers are not all alike. One look at Giselle Bundchen proves it. If you feel stressed and tired, recognize that you've reached your personal setpoint, no matter what all the other cool kids in the office are doing. In the longrun you'll be more productive and healthy.