Sane Spending

I know I tend to beat people over the head about saving their money, and I'm starting to lighten up a bit. My father-in-law called today and bellowed "Whatcha doin'?" without annoucing himself. I asked, annoyed, "Who is this?"

He laughed and gave up his identity, which he's not used to doing because his son has always had caller ID. I recently switched phone companies for a better rate and gave it up. He groused jokingly, “Oh, you making $2 more a month on your new savings plan?”

“Well…yeah…”

Okay – spending the $2 a month is probably worth the sanity afforded by knowing what lies on the other end when you pick up.

Later, I stumbled upon an interesting article about Frugality Burnout. I didn’t have to read on to identify myself as one of its erstwhile victims. I have been burned by saving too much, to be sure. There is a certain point where the benefits of leading a frugal lifestyle don’t outweigh the negatives.

Recognizing symptoms of burnout is crucial, here are some warning signs gleaned from personal experience:

• When you are deathly afraid of the occasional cappuccino because every personal finance guru tells you you'd be a millionaire if you'd only stop going to Starbucks.
• When you shudder at the cost of a night out with friends citing Cosmopolitans as uncecessary expenses, opting for water with lemon and leaving a $2 tip for the waitress' trouble. (Hint: you aren't fun to hang out with at this point.)
• When you shop at thrift stores and settle for items that aren't vintage in an ironic or cool way, but just old and worn out.
• When you refuse to buy groceries because you've got a perfectly good ingredients like tuna in a can, crackers, and ketchup.
• When your dear husband reachs out for a $9 bottle of wine on sale, and you malevolently question if he knows what your bank account balance is, hmmm?

Stop stop stop. Stop the insanity. There is a healthy balance. Don't get weird and start sewing your own clothes and living off the land to save money. Just figure out what you love and spend your money on that. Then prioritize and cut way down on other things. I drive what co-workers laughingly refer to as a teenager's car because I simply don't care what I drive as long as it's safe and economical.

What you spend your money on can make you happy to a point, you just need to find out what those things are. A perfect illustration of what this looks like is a conversation I had a few years back with a jewelry-loving friend. She was eagerly awaiting a new bauble for her wedding anniversary. I said I would be furious if my husband bought me a diamond ring and said I'd rather be surprised with a weeklong vacation for the amount of money that would be spent...she unflinchinly replied, "But it's not like experiences have any value!"

Though my jaw dropped, I realized that she's not wrong, we just have different value systems. Her rings are expensive, and they may even appreciate in price. She loves to look at them and feels good wearing them. She may pass them on, along with their stories to her children one day, and they will cherish these golden treasures. That's valuable for her, I just don't happen to feel the same way. I'd rather be whisked to Italy, only be able to afford the food and photos, and pass on those experiences.

To each their own.