Three friends are seated at an outdoor café, sipping coffee, their eyes resemble a congealed glaze, yet their brains doubtless working maniacally, their thumbs moving fiercely, fighting to communicate over fiber optic channels...the relentless tap tap tap against multi-hued PDAs signals utmost urgency…perhaps a child has fallen ill, their sister has gone into labor, or a lover arrived from a year long military station. When they do get a moment to stop, breathe, converse with each other, the stunning nature of their communications is revealed…
Did you know my RAZR comes with a heightened sense of importance, allowing me to interrupt people mid-thought, talk louder than necessary, and grimace at sales clerks as I order a cappuccino while simultaneously fighting with my nanny?
Oh yeah? The BlackBerry's new feature allows me to text pointless babble, straddle two lanes in 80 mph traffic without consequence, and look hot doing it!
I’ve got you both beat, my iPhone automatically adopts children from impoverished nations with a direct debit from my bank account, downloads a new podcast from The Secret daily, and could basically save the world if we’d only let it…Shhh!…it’s ringing…
While I don’t go so far as to deify my cellphone, I’ve been guilty of a social faux pas or two. My cell phone has inadvertently dialed friends in the middle of the night, gone off at inappropriate times, and I’ve performed the classic This’ll Only Take a Second charade, complete with accompanying hand motions indicating the person on the other end of the line is such a talker.
Sadly, these improprieties are becoming norms, saying “I don’t care about you because whatever message, download, or ringtone coming through is far more important than present company." This only serves to push us away from each other, making the speed at which we communicate useless if we aren’t really connecting. I understand that leveraging technology to enhance communication can be productive and satisfying, but I’m skeptical that every situation warrants immediate interruption and response.
Here’s the instruction manual I wish companies included with each electronic device purchase that we could all learn to follow:
I'm looking for reader input on this one, got something to add?Thank you for the purchase of your new Personal Digital Assistant, here are a few tips to make usage easier to swallow for those around you:
1. Feel Free to Speak at a Normal Volume: Our engineers work tirelessly to develop micro-transmitters that will adequately amplify your voice, allowing normal conversation levels to be audible with great accuracy.
2. Not Everything is Cause for Interruption: Try to be discerning about cutting off our friends mid-sentence to text or answer a call. We hope our product can help foster communication so that the next time you contact someone they still find you a person worth talking to.
3. No One Likes Your Ringtone But You: Our product is neither meant to serve as a personal soundtrack, nor does it enhance your appearance upon ringing, no matter what song or sound effect is playing, trust us. We understand you may not always remember to place it on silent, but at least try to look apologetic when it goes off during a movie or symphony, and for God’s sake, don’t answer it.
8 Comments:
haha, great post and so true, I really like the headline.
This is part of the reason I don't have an iphone or a blackberry because I don't want another reason not to be engaged in the moment.
A lot of phone problems could be solved if people just turned up the volume on their earpieces. The problem isn't usually that people can't hear you, it's that you can't hear them. That makes you talk loudly.
Loud talking is only a symptom of the problem though. Personally I'm not so self absorbed that I forget the people around me and make a fool of myself yelling into my phone.
Why do people like cell phones so much? I think it makes us feel important. When someone calls you and you have to interrupt the conversation you're engaged in because "someone else needs me", you feel needed. Of course it doesn't do much for making the person you're actually with feel important. Of course I still answer my phone because I don't get many chatty pointless calls, so when someone calls it's usually important and quick.
@ jaclyn - I wish I could stay in any moment. I'm a horrible meditator, though I try, and I feel so guilty about using my phone at times, while driving, at work...I also feel guilty when I don't use it, my voice message tells people I might not get back to them "in a timely manner." I kind of wish cell phones were never invented, but I also can't imagine my life without one.
@ Michael Henreckson - there certainly is a whole "feeling needed" aspect to constantly checking one's phone...or one's blog for that matter...damn.
I'm always amazed by the group of people together... while they are all on cellphones talking to others. Maybe I'll print out this list and take it in with me when I finally go ahead and acquire one of these gadgets.
Great post Milena!
I think the challenge is just in moving the cell phone away from being the urgent contact. Regardless of the actual importance of the call or message, it currently always seems to trump everything with the urgency factor.
Part of the challenge is we also frequently make it that way, by giving people our mobile number for when they need to get a hold of us urgently.
That is probably the conditioning we need to modify.
Or maybe we just need to be more liberal in usage of caller specific profiles, so that only the people we actually want to have that much power of interruption have it . . .
@ Kate - I'm always baffled by the group of people together all on their cell phones as well.
@ Adam - I think it's probably a generally accepted notion that cell phones, because they are used for urgent communication is the best way to reach someone as they are likely to have it on their person for such an occasion! Chicken or the egg, eh? I just have a message telling people to use the page function if it is urgent, otherwise I'll get back to them when I can...that way the expectation is set.
Super post! When I am out with a friend I usually silence my cell phone and let my messages collect in my voice mail. If I am out with more than 1 person though I might leave it on, depending on the activity.
@ michelle - sounds like a reasonable policy! I should add that when a friend makes me part of the conversation, or we are expecting someone to call for the both of us, it's a different story!
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