Mama Bear and The Undefinable in Marriage

Tonight I earned the nickname Mama Bear.
Tonight I may have saved my husband's life, or at least a couple thousand in band equipment.

A friend who had witnessed the onslaught said, "You had a moment."

But before I launch into the story, let me take a quick moment to thank God: 

1. Thank you no one got hurt.
2. Thank you for adrenaline.

It probably sounds like I ran into a burning building. I didn't.

But first, let me ask you this:

If one moment you were happily singing songs on a balmy summer night, in the courtyard of a bustling restaurant, and a moment later, rain starts streaming sideways, and when you turn around to tell your husband to stop playing, a giant table umbrella is launched by gales of wind with the steel pole directed towards his head, what would you do?

Witnesses told me I flew. One customer looked at me shocked, "You were fast!" My friend claims I started the whole thing. Apparently I went into some sort of psycho-heroic-trance. Maybe I'm giving myself too much credit. I didn't grasp the umbrella mid-air or anything. It got wedged on a table, but another had flown on top of restaurant roof, and objects were still being hurtled through space.

I wasn't really thinking, all I know is that I had an intense feeling of, "Holy shit, my husband." And even though his friend and a couple of restaurant staffers were helping him gather equipment, and even though he urged me to stay inside, my body simply wouldn't let me do it. All I could think was, "We're a team." It was instinct.

I know what I experienced is not rare. We've heard of mothers lifting cars to save their children, but it's rare to be in the situation oneself. I feel silly carrying on about it, but the truth of the matter is, there had been tornado warnings all day and it was plausible that one was heading in our direction. I suppose I thought in the flash of fury that I couldn't bear to spend my final moments watching my husband be eaten up by a tornado - I'd have to be with him.

What I'm saying is, I get it now. In those situations, you don't think - you just do. I also think that something that is fundamentally "you" informs your brain's subconscious decisions.

Make a leap with me. The part that was "me" that informed my decision to go back into gusting winds was my husband. There was every reason to stay inside. He was being helped, and I might have even been getting in the way. But that is love. That is marriage. That is the undefinable I think Adam Gilbert has been searching for in his last post. Why get married? Who the fuck knows, to be honest, but all I know is that when I saw that man, in the rain, wind, and flying objects, I had to be out there with him.

I'd wager that we'd all respond similarly, that in a time of crisis, what we value most becomes instantly, startlingly clear. It is simplified to its most primal form. This is evidenced by all the other people who ran back outside to gather things. They all valued something out in the rain more than comfort, dryness, and safety.

Maybe I'm reading into things. Maybe I'm still drunk and high on adrenaline.

Maybe it's time for bed. Goodnight.