I Think the Democrats Are Finally Getting Through to Me

Warning: you may want to read this first.

Tonight's Twitter Relaxation Challenge was attending a nature photography seminar. Luckily, I was able to catch a bit of the Democratic National Convention afterwards.

The two events combined created some kind of synergistic force in my mind and I realized something: corporate profits are so evil and dirty. Screw my costly education and time wasted studying centuries of economic thought, I think there is a new economics on the horizon, because the world is just so different these days. I mean, so different that proven economic theories that are basically equivalent to our belief in gravity can be disproven just by saying so. What exciting times we live in!

My mind wandered back to the free seminar I had just attended at a local store. I realized they sucked me in! Promised and delivered me a free seminar on photography...it started on time...had a good speaker...and I never felt pressured to buy anything, but they did ask for volunteers for a local community fall river clean-up.

My mind reeled...that was the evil corporate maneuver! Suck you in by making promises and keeping them. How dare they. They even promised to hand out free t-shirts at the clean-up made of some kind of recycled material that wicks sweat to keep you cool and dry while saving the planet. Then they tried to brainwash me with the added benefit of refreshments served free from another dirty dirty corporation they partner with.

Bastards.

I was so coerced by their ingenuity and generosity that I've decided I'll probably buy some of the products from the presentation, products that aren't even offered in their store, but were highlighted because they would make my life better and make taking photographs more enjoyable.

But wait, what about the cost? I just quit my job and shouldn't be buying things like tripods.

Dirty corporations! They tricked me. Now I want a tripod so bad I think I'm going to go crazy if I don't get one. Plus, corporations don't care if I can't afford their products. What's worse is that they can put me in an evil hypnotic trance that makes me purchase the products I want but can't afford. I suppose the only good thing is that I don't ever have to take responsibility for my own detrimental actions! Nice!

Corporations are so unfair. Unlike the government, whose revenue collection mechanism is so much more efficient and equitable. Not only do I get to pay for shit I don't need, but may never see or even benefit from! Big Love for Big Gov! Let's hear it!

I'm starting to take what liberals say to heart. Down with capitalism. All it's ever done is make my life better and give me lots of choices. That shit needs to stop.