A Certain Kind of Beautiful

Tonight I met a gorgeous blonde. Well, we didn’t actually meet. She was eating dinner with her mother and grandparents and I spent my dinner hour tracking her moves and extracting bits of her conversation from the silences in mine.

Her kind of pretty rolls out of bed that way. Far from being the equivalent of the beauty precision in magazines, she had enough flaws to keep things interesting. Her eyes were too big, her nose had a distinctive bump, and her chin just a bit short for her face.

I’ve always been taken by certain women. If I had a type it would be The Gamine, a moniker coming from the French gamin meaning “street urchin, waif, or playful, naughty child.” Audrey Hepburn is the classic gamine. She took the part of urchin and playful equally well. She demonstrated tremendous range of character within a tiny shell of a woman.

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve no doubt caught strains of my girl crushes on Feist and Zooey Deschanel. Newcomer Katy Perry is what I’d call a Gamazon, and I have to be honest, I’m fascinated by her former Christian Gospel Singer turned Pop Bad Girl (even though I find her “I Kissed a Girl” a hackneyed portrayal of girl-on-girl taboo, it's my latest guilty pleasure.)

When I see unconventionally beautiful women, I often wonder why some strive to alter their looks with dramatic plastic surgery. (A nip and tuck, I can understand!) I have always wanted a large nose. I have a teddy-bear-like version I inherited from my great-grandmother. I like it, but there is something noble about a large nose. It gives a face a tremendous amount of character. My mother and father both shared this trait and I wanted one too. My mother, on the other hand, spent her teens pinching her nose with a clothes pin in hopes of shrinking it.

I sometimes wish I were an artist. I’d loved to have been able to draw women I admire, but I suppose my words will have to suffice. My grandfather had been an artist and I remember the huge nude that hung in our sitting room. My mother has a box of his sketches, many of them women. Apparently he had one model he preferred over the rest. My mother referred to her as his “Helga.” That name might not mean anything to many of you, but Helga Testorf was artist Andrew Wyeth’s secret muse for over 15 years, the subject of his constant study. He’d place her in various scenes, landscapes, nude on white paper.

Watching and appreciating the beauty in other women actually makes me less aware and less judgmental of myself. I am less likely to focus on my flaws when I begin to draw in the range of features out there. If I can appreciate a bump on a nose, there must be someone who appreciates what I would consider my own flaws.

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What Exactly Is Wrong With This Country

Warning: Rant to Follow

Over the past few weeks, new or proposed policies from local and federal governments have been encroaching upon unsuspecting citizens that are so far beyond the bounds of rational thought I cannot contain myself.

What follows is a brief compilation of the most asinine ideas locally and nationally that I’ve heard of lately:

1. Increased Millage for the Detroit Zoo. Now, mind you, just under 2 years ago, the Detroit Zoo was threatened with closing. Detroit City Council officials took offense when a non-profit zoological society offered to take over for them. They refused and then planned a shutdown instead. “If we can’t have a zoo, no one will!” Real mature guys. This never happened, thanks to the generosity of the tri-county Metro Detroit local governments.

However, sadly, the zoo is still a losing proposition and in a few short days, the fair taxpayers of these counties are going to be asked to vote to increase millage for the zoo. Outrage doesn’t accurately express how I feel. When a city cannot manage itself, as Detroit has proven time and time again, and when non-profit and/or private organizations are ready and willing to take over, you should let them! The price to pay is no zoo for Johnny and Susy. Oh, unless we can just tax everyone and forcibly take their money. Apparently the millage amounts to about $10 a year. Fine. Dandy. I’m happy to pay. I will write a check direct from my bank account today if someone would promise to take this item off the ballot. My neighbor can barely walk. Do you think he goes to the zoo? Why should he be forced to pay for someone else to go????

2. Mandated Purchase of Digital TVs. “It’s a new law!” I keep hearing on TV. I barely watch TV, so I thought this commercial was an SNL skit. I thought, “Oh, come on. No one is going to believe the government would make everyone buy a new TV!” Tragically, I am mistaken. WTF??? I cannot comprehend the insanity this is going to cause, not to mention incredible amounts of waste.

3. California’s Ban on Tobacco Sales in Pharmacies. If you need a visual, right now I'm pulling my hair out. The senator who designed this legislation has no concept of private property rights. Pharmacies should be able to determine what they choose to sell. But Milena, what if they are selling something a large group of people finds reprehensible? You are in luck my friends, there is a solution that doesn't involve legislation if you can believe it! A consumer who disagrees with something a private organization does can easily walk their dollars elsewhere, heck, even start a blog (http://www.dontpharmtobacco.com/ was available as of this posting) and get all their friends to boycott the establishment, and then the value might be seen and change effected!

If there was a true demand for banning sale of tobacco in pharmacies, it would have happened organically. It should not come from over-zealous politicians and their lobbyist friends keen on moralizing, resulting in a blatant obstruction of rights. The senator claims that pharmacies are places people go to get healthy, and cigarettes are antithetical to that end. Well then, I suppose they’ll have to stop selling candy and snacks (to stave off heart attacks!), alcohol and lottery tickets (delinquents!), condoms and nail polish (sluts!), comic books and trashy magazines (rot the mind, don’t you know?), and more! Ironically enough, where will these people get their fix? Gas stations better start buying by the truckload! Let’s hear it for Big Oil!

4. Los Angeles’ One Year Moratorium on New Fast Food Restaurants in Poor Areas. I seriously hope there was typo in the Wall Street Journal today because I don't understand this. Do you want to starve the poor? I mean, I get it, fast food is unhealthy, but I am hearing a modern day Marie Antionette cry, “Let them shop at Whole Foods!” Seriously. Furthermore, the moratorium won't be introducing organizations who can provide healthy food at comparable prices or anything, just withholding supply from citizens who demand it. Talk about immoral.

I worked in a food shelter for the homeless, nutrition is not their problem. They need calories first and foremost. If a Big Mac is the cheapest, most readily availabe food source, that is fine. I know a bowl of mesclun salad with poached pears and cherry-balsamic drizzle is tastier and healthier, but this is insanity. Furthermore, McDonald's and other fast food restaurants are hearing the voice of their consumers, they are offering more and more healthy options. Again: let the people decide what they want (and can afford!)

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Sweet 31

It's my sweetie's birthday. And as such, I get to take a break from any "serious" blog writing to just say how much I love my husband. I'll also have to thank his mother for the whole pregnancy and child-rearing thing too. I'm certain it was his parent's caring influence that helped shape him into the person I'm willing to devote my life to. And of course, I wouldn't forget his sister, who no doubt helped keep Mike humble. (We have the best time making fun of him on our phone calls.)

Also, I must inform my readers that in terms of milestones, the 31st birthday is of far more import than 30th. Just in case you wondered.

Mike, have a wonderful day, I'm glad we get to spend it together!

And if anyone wants to write a birthday tribute or jab, this public forum is a completely appropriate place to do it!

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How Good Do You Need It?

There is a catch phrase that has been floating around self-improvement circles for years.

How Good Can You Stand It?

Like other overused mantras pushed by self-actualization gurus, it makes my skin crawl when I hear it. It is meant to urge you to conjure up images of your better, happier, or richer self, a day, week, or year from now. Come on, picture it, how good can you stand it? Do you want that pool, that wife? Do you want the Benjamins or the accolades? The guru leads you down a path where you mind-map with your inner child and then cleanse your spirit to help you discover what stops you.

Put down the Robbins or Chopra book now, what is stopping you is simple and normal. It’s not because you got beat up in second grade, or experienced birthing trauma. It’s that your needs must be met first.

You forgo the pool teeming with hotties because you need to eat. You don’t put time into a great relationship because you need to work and perhaps all you can muster is some drunken trysts on the weekend. You don’t excel in your job because you need to be at the hospital with an ailing friend or relative.

Just so we’re clear, I’m not placing a value judgement on any of your needs or wants. I could care less if you’d rather leave the ailing aunt for the poolside beauty – it’s your life, your call, not mine. I'm only saying that many of our psychological struggles with "What should I do next??" can come when we replace our needs with our wants. I believe this mindset is a major stumbling block to a healthy, happy life.

For example, when I was in high school I convinced my mother I needed to take the day off school and camp out for Beastie Boys tickets, oh, and I needed a new outfit to do it.

Yes, I’m comparing us to the crude example of a whiny teen. We are no different. Whatever we perceive or have created as our most immediate need will take over every time.

So when we read a guru's advice, and think he's got the key and say, "What I really need is to work 80 hours a week instead of 60, so that I can be up for the VP-ship when it rolls around next time." We should then temper our enthusiasm, put on our reality caps and ask, "Even if it will help me achieve my long-term goals, is it right?" You might win a stellar job, but will you pay the price with your sanity?

I’ve talked about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and think about it whenever I feel like I’m not performing up to my imagined standards. I remind myself that my base needs are primal: food, water, safety. I love that relationships are next. That is an area I ignore then wonder why I feel empty.

By focusing on my needs, I found the courage to quit my job and I am satisfied stopping at love these days. Loving myself, stealing more time from work and projects to spend with family and friends, though it's not as frequent as I'd like. I’m learning to stop focusing on the peak of that stupid pyramid. But it’s the peak we’re all told to focus on. We start to neglect the foundations.

I used to have a good friend, we’ll call him Joe. Joe kept that pyramid peak in the front-most of his mind since his youth. The self-image he created, no doubt with other familial and societal influence, was to be rich. More specifically, he would tell you, "Make six figures by the time he was 30." Since middle school, Joe prepped himself for this life. Joe joined the clubs that would look best for college entrance, won internships for placement in more prestigious internships. His Ivy League pedigrees have scored him jobs like you see in movies where you have to sell your soul to the devil to get them. He's worth it too, he hands competition their ass on a platter every time. He is a huge success by many standards.

However, Joe revealed to me years ago on a break from his Wall Street gig that he felt as if, indeed, “He no longer had a soul.” His skin was pale, he’d gained weight. A few years later I heard his plans to marry fizzled with a broken engagement, and his physical (and I’d argue mental) health began to fail. He was plagued by chronic pain due physical manifestations of stress and underwent major back surgery at 28.

Joe ignored his basic needs for so long that his wants got the best of him.

I’m not sure what Joe is doing today specifically, we don’t talk anymore because our friendship is, embarassingly, beyond repair. I do know Joe got what he wanted. But did he get what he needed?

Don’t ignore your needs. While I don't believe success requires you to sell your soul and crumble from mental and physical exhaustion, I know that risking any fundamental needs will make your success stale and far less enjoyable.

Think about it, wouldn’t you like to be able to swim in that pool, or make love to that hottie without taking blood pressure meds and visiting the physical therapist the next day?

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Get Away From Me!

If there has ever been an award for Best Clever Mockery on an album cover, it must have gone to Nellie McKay's 2004 release, Get Away From Me. I love her triumphant expression, paired with her shocking potty mouth and quirky gangster-rap-musical-theatre inspired songs. I imagine her as a long lost distant musical cousin.

While I appreciate the ribbing of Norah Jones' Come Away With Me (I think we can all agree we were force fed that album), what I appreciate more is the sentiment.

I am a curmudgeon. I often feel like McKay looks - arms outstretched, ready to embrace the world and its wonders, yet simultaneously eager to be left alone. Mostly so I can grumble in the privacy of my own home or blog. While I don't fundamentally dislike humanity, my socializing half-life is short and the fewer people around me, the better. I think that is why I love being married so much. I have my best friend all to myself forever.

It might be considered odd that I love performing as it requires me to sing to crowds of strangers, but I rarely interact with anyone directly, and I'll duck away from the audience at the end of a show like a bootleg DVD seller who spots a police officer heading her way.

This disposition was fine as long as I had enough reasons to leave the house, forcing me to regularly interact with people. However, even though I've only worked from home for about two weeks now, it's been sufficiently long enough to give me a peculiar disposition, and possibly, disadvantage in society.

I am, officially, 85 years old.

I now feel uneasy simply going to the dentist. I get jumpy when approached by someone unexpectedly and drive at least 10 miles per hour under posted speed limits.

When I do find a stranger I'm comfortable talking to, I'll casually mention that I discovered the secret to crisp, yet chewy, cookies. I find Rachel Ray passable and today I lunched when Dr. Phil was on, raising my brow, "Who knew 11 year old girls needed the HPV vaccine...little sluts!"

And while working from home is my greatest dream come true, I'm wondering if it could potentially make me "age" faster, or further perpetuate and amplify my generally sour disposition. Time will tell.

I think there are some good things about being old at heart, and it's not just the delectable cookies. I think that though I've certainly not dealt with the kind of hardships that most of the world's population deals with, it sometimes feels like I've already had enough heartache for one life, last year being the hardest. However, I think with age comes wisdom, and at a certain point, even though life gets you down so much you cry uncle, you learn to simply throw up your hands and laugh.

Would you like some milk with that deary? Subscribe to Shouting to Quiet the Thunder, Granny's got something baking right now...

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He called it Starbuck.

My dog needs a haircut terribly. In an effort to find a suitable groomer I find myself trekking halfway across the county because I like the sound of the woman's voice.

I decide to work from a Starbucks while I wait.

As I pull up to my Googled location, I resent its convenience. It is a Starbucks I remember going to with my father because an auto parts supplier was in the same strip mall. He always called it Starbuck. He was helping repair the car he convinced me to buy, swore he could fix, and helped me sell a few months later.

I hold a shred of hope that some employee has worked there long enough to remember the man with the moustache. Any Starbucks we went to, my father didn’t have to utter a word to order. Someone would have the cup ready for him by the time he reached the counter. As if it were all part of the ceremony, my father would then hand me the cup, tell me to pour out almost half of the coffee, replace with cream and then hold the jar of sugar upside down for a slow count of 10. Think about it.

I enter. I don't know what I expected. Maybe silence. I allow myself to be angered by everyone in the establishment, as if they are chatting and drinking lattes in a mausoleum.

Most are seated in pairs. The first, a couple? No, co-workers. He is wearing a polo shirt with an indistinguishable logo and gets up to order. She looks uncomfortable, and is typing an email furiously, darting her eyes over her shoulder to time his return.

To my right, two older women speak a guttural foreign language. They must be family members, their resemblance striking right down to perfectly plastic-ed noses plopped back upon their mottled faces smothered in make-up. One wears a musty wig and shoulderpads heartbreakingly visible through her sheer sequined shirt.

Another pair of women are talking over each other about their wayward families, trading war stories as far back as last Thanksgiving. They insist on forcing the lithe, tan blonde heading out the door to chat with them because she reminds them of someone. The blonde hoping to quickly satisfy their curiosity is squirming for her smoke break. The women refuse to excuse her as they exchange glances over her tattooed midriff.

I look away just in time to catch a man in full golf attire conducting a vigorous readjustment of his package. Business on the green today? I forgivingly neglect to take obvious notice.

Shortly thereafter I decide I must leave because I desperately need a paper shredder.

I read in my car instead.

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Ack. Conservatives Don't Actually Think That!

I almost died when I saw the cover of The New Yorker.

Professor Gina Barreca's blog sums it up, "The New Yorker cover was about as sophisticated a piece of satire as a penis drawn on a desk. "

Now, The New Yorker has tried to pedantically explain the cover to the public, "We're mocking the mockers." Oh wait, forgive me, I didn't realize the most liberal magazine in the country tried to make an ironic funny. Well, not funny. On so many levels. This requires a numbered list.

1. As much as I don't like Senator Obama's policies, I am of a strange opinion that we should at least attempt to show a modicum of respect for the people in public office, and those that serve in the military. This cover art is a degradation of both. Kind of like when "fine art" photographer Andres Serrano, debuted his seminal Jesus on a Crucifix in a Jar of Pee. Daring? Sure. Meaningless? Check! Offensive? You bet. This is no different.

2. No principled conservative actually thinks Barack Obama is a militant muslim terrorist spouting anti-American propaganda. While I might think his policies are bad for the country - I feel it is from errors of judgement, misplaced values, and overly-confident fiscal policies. I don't think he actually wants to inflict harm upon the people of this country. I just think his policies will take us in a gravely wrong direction. Strong difference of opinion? Yes. Does it warrant mockery and name-calling? No, I can't think of a single conservative I would take seriously if they did.

3. The claim that this cover art will "get people talking" and somehow "dissipate long-held misjudgement" is fantasy. This kind of sensationalism further divides and fosters misrepresentation. Forgive my grade-school mentality but: it's not nice. I get so irritated when people who call themselves artists do something stupid and then defend it because it was an act of supposedly divine inspiration. Art must be measured on some basis of objectivity if we are to put value on it. Stuff like this cover is worthless. I'd expect more from MAD magazine.

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Will You Still Respect Me Tomorrow?

I’ve been asking this question a lot lately. No, it’s not because I’ve embarked on a string of one-night-stands, it’s a question I’ve been posing to my husband ad nauseum since I decided to quit my job and be a stay at home wife. Note: If anyone has been waiting to call me hypocrite, here is your golden opportunity. Before I decided to leave my job, I wrote a long piece on why I thought the plight of the stay-at-home-dad was total bullshit, and that Mr. Mom should learn to suck it up and love his time off.

Er. Um. Sheepish sorry.

However, I’m not doing a 180. I hold fast to my opinion that there is no logical reason anyone shouldn’t respect a stay at home whomever, and that anyone in that position can feel confident of their value.

What I am realizing is that there is a pretty big psychological garden to tend to when one spouse is in this role. Despite my desire to approach this life change with logic and reason, I have felt the fear of losing my husband’s respect.

I feel myself being warped into a world where I’m disrespected for being a woman, particularly a housewife. I find myself saying things like, “Well, I’ve worked all day too…” to stake my territory as equal contributor to the family despite drastically reduced income.

To be honest, I’ve been working like a dog since I quit my job. I see just how disorganized we are, how lonely our pooch is, how much food we waste, how many calls need returning, and dishes and laundry that need to be washed. While I was busy working and studying, we either let things slip or it was my husband who took on the extra load.

Because of this, I’ve been eager to show my gratitude for his support, urging him to let me know if he needed me to do anything. But yesterday, when he asked me to iron his shirts, it was like some psycho-anti-man switch went off in my head.

I assumed he thought I wasn’t doing anything. I assumed that within a few short days, he thought he’d acquired a maid. I’m also sure I’ve been over-confident as to what I can accomplish in an 8 hour day (much like when I worked full-time) and have over-sold my schedule. I’m sure I just don’t understand how it all works yet.

I did take my own advice though and talked to him about my feelings before they got out of hand. He said, “This is nothing new. You’ve had this fear since we met and you always realize I still love and respect you.”

“I’m not convinced.”

“Okay, what about when we dated and you wouldn’t let me buy you things because you thought we wouldn’t interact as equals? Or how when you moved in you thought I was refusing to clear out closet space for you because I didn’t want you there, but in reality you never told me you needed it?”

“Um.”

“You are over that, right? Don’t you see as far as I’m concerned, we’re 50/50?”

The answer is yes. I know he means what he says. And after 15 more minutes of bickering all I could say was, “I know you respect me. But I need you to be extra sensitive that I am afraid you won’t for right now.”

I hate that I need coddling about this. I want to be strong and firm in my choice to dump my job. I know it’s the best choice, I know that I was going to lose my mind if I stayed. I know that I’m so much happier that I’ve done it. I know my husband respects me and I’m even more valuable now that he has a wife who is happy, self-assured, and can respect herself enough to leave an unhealthy situation.

So, since my husband is not the culprit and I’m not a fan of blaming “society,” I’ll need to spend some time asking myself why I feel this way despite evidence to the contrary.

Same story, different tune.

What can I say, I love new melodies. Subscribe to Shouting to Quiet the Thunder, where the music is always playing…

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My Point Exactly

If you are a regular Shouting to Quiet the Thunder reader, you may fondly recall the thrashing I received after the piece I did on bike riding.

With that in mind, watch this YouTube video. Ask questions, should you have any, later...

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When Faced With Two Choices, What To Do??

I am a big fan of Naomi Dunsford of IttyBiz, so I hope she’ll forgive me for this half-assed reference to her brilliance, but I think she said something like, when you are trying to decide what to do next (regarding your home business) do what is closest to the money.

If I’ve slaughtered the sentiment, forgive, I couldn’t pinpoint the original reference on her site, so I’ve only her to blame for the a plethora of excellent content through which to scour.

While I think that is a wonderful way to frame your day for productivity and success, I have a tendency to run wild with great ideas until I've run myself into the ground. If you are anything like me, whether you work for yourself (as I happily do now) or someone else, at any given moment, you can do what is closer to the money or to the sanity. Though there are moments when the actions you take bring about both, I believe they are at odds most of the time. Even if you love what you do. For example, I’m a singer and private voice teacher. I’m a part time grad student. I’m a stay at home wife. I’m a blogger. I love these activities, and only one pays cold hard cash.

Therein lies my dilemma. If I want to be productive, I will spend all my time studying, or getting gigs and students. When I'm itching to follow this yellow-brick path of productivity promises, that’s when a Wizard of Oz-type figure looms before me and booms: Remember, your job or money was never the inherent problem; you are.

Then I skulk off and ruminate on how I'm doomed to find myself in the same situation I just left at my full-time job: haggard and uninspired. I gently remind myself that money can’t buy sanity. It provides for basic needs and the occasional jolly good time. If I want a sane and healthy life, I have to find balance. I have to shift my focus to taking care of myself, which may mean giving up a few bucks.

For example, right now, if I wanted to do what is closest to the money, I would stop writing this post, and work on my home business. I'd post “quality content” on my other blog about singing, design the ad for a program I bought space in, drum up business from referrals, research new ways to advertise in my area.

If I wanted to do what was closest to the sanity, I’d finish this post, bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies, take a long walk, then start preparing dinner.

Which did I choose? Well, if you are reading this, I think you know.

Hoping to snag my secret cookie recipe? Subscribe to Shouting to Quiet the Thunder and maybe it will pop up...

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Compelling Link

Rarely do I write a post just to link to something, but today is different.

Go to this site: Common Ties

It reminds me of PostSecret, and it will suck you in. The premise is there are 20 questions that are on the site, you upload your answers and they post the best ones.

Some of the most chilling and heartwarming stuff I've read.

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Finding My New Path in Life

It’s been a long time since I've sat at my home computer to write, what feels like ages in blogging terms where communication moves so fast you feel like a slug if you respond in less than 24 hours. I’m back from a vacation in the countries of the former Yugoslavia, the lands of my ancestors, the cities my father lived and walked, the places he took my mother during their courtship.

This trip has been life changing and life affirming. It has been a salve, and a glue. It felt like a month, but was two short weeks. I climbed mountains spilling over with waterfalls, ventured into caves, toured the Adriatic coast of Croatia and glacial lakes of Slovenia, I traveled the serpentine roads of war-ravaged Bosnia, I spoke to the people in their language. I ate the food, drank the wine, danced the dances. The whole shebang.

I had the time of my life. I wrote a post recently about how change is not affecting me like it used to, but change is continuing to happen, almost against my will. It’s exciting, but for the first time I’m accepting change with a peace and calm previously unknown. I don’t know if it is because I’m older, married, making tough career decisions, or saw my father pass away. I don’t know if these life passages make change easier or what. I don’t know if it’s a natural progression. I only know I’ve never felt this way.

I feel like I’m stepping into a completeness I never imagined I would have. Not because it's not possible, but because it's reserved for people a bit more sane than I. More deserving. I don’t know if it’s because I’m embracing faith, I don’t know if it’s because I’m letting old wounds heal, I don’t know if it’s because I’m letting hackneyed arguments fade. I don’t know.

I don’t know why I feel this way. It feels incredible, yet mundane. Still. Of this world. Grounded in reality. Whole and contented. On the right path.

Is it because I’ve strayed from myself for so long, that this is what it feels like to be true to myself? Is this what all those writers I’d been drawn to my whole life also experienced and wanted to share, and I’d rail against them in disbelief? Is this what my parents had wanted for me? Is this what I’ve always wanted and now it’s here?

I’m reluctant to say yes. I’m scared that an affirmation will break the spell. You know, like when you are told to make a wish which will only come true if you promise not to breathe a word of it? I’m frightened that if I tell you that I’ve become happy that it will all fizzle and fade because I’ve courted fear and forboding for so long.

I don’t expect to be floating on a bliss-cloud forever. But even drudgery feels different. The bad experiences I have had lately don’t feel like they were tailor-made to crush and beat me down. They feel more like the natural bumps on the path of a well-worn life. This is the point. I’m back on the path. I’m moving forward. I’m not stopped and stuck on the side of the road, seeing life ahead and refusing to go with it. I got back on my horse.

Thinking of riding off into the sunset too? Subscribe to Shouting to Quiet the Thunder, cowboys and girls…

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Crossing the Line

I'd describe myself as an ever-searching Catholic, as in, I struggle with doubt constantly. That's why I love it when I see crosses in unlikely places. I like to pretend it's a sign I'm on the right path. Forgive the literal nature of my observation, but it's how my brain works.

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Moment of Zen

I imagine this is what most tiny creatures see, peering up through grasses, seeing looming figures of mystery above.

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