I realize my blog title is very Women's Day. But there are some really disturbing things going on.
1. Whole Foods won't let you purchase completely normal stuff. Like Ziploc bags. They are strictly verboten! I'm sorry, but my Ziploc bags aren't killing the planet. What the hell else am I supposed to keep my leftover chopped onions and such in? I wash my bags and reuse them anyway - so why the boycott? Huh bitches?!! I can't stand having to go to 8 different stores these days to get the items I like. Oh yeah, and Whole Foods doesn't sell iceberg lettuce! Imagine that.
2. The Dropsies. I was tempted to put this under line item Epidemic because I keep seeing these lazy-ass-hoes drop food on the ground and not pick up after themselves. And yes, it's always women. And yes, @DaveBenjamin I'm still sexist. ; )
This is not like, "Oops, I have five kids and one of them dropped their cracker." Or, "Oops, I'm an old lady and can't bend over, but at least I'll tell the nice young sales associate." No - this is healthy, bendable, youngish women letting fresh produce roll around on the ground and then walk away. More like, "Oops, my unecessarily enormous Jimmy Choo hobo bag knocked over that stack of apples and I couldn't see because I'm wearing giant Gucci sunglasses in the grocery store." To those afflicted with Dropsie: it's an exceedingly bad habit, and you are not invisible!
3. People Refuse to Bag Their Own Groceries. This is at least more understandable. I guess it's grocery store tradition and all. It's never occurred to me to NOT bag my own groceries if I'm able to do so. I figure it's the whole "pay it forward" concept, give the clerk a break, make the line go faster. But no, there is always some sour-faced beyotch that cannot seem to budge from the credit card reader. Of course, aside from a possible physical disability, what is she doing? What goes through her mind as she stands silently waiting for the clerk to ring, then bag her groceries, while others watch? I really want to know.
4. SpongeBob Sells Cucumbers from the Sea Floor. I did a double-take when I picked up this package. At first I was scared, but soon felt reassured, "Hmm, SpongeBob Brand produce...hit TV show...must be good at greenhouse farming too!" Seriously, does this sell more cucumbers? For instance, I'd like to see some stats on those "Apple Fries" I've heard about on TV. Does anyone fall for that? Like if you weren't already interested in apples or cucumbers, would a cartoon character or bizarre Pavlovian response to the word "fries" change your mind??
8 Comments:
Wow, beautiful new design! And I can especially relate to the people who drop sh*t. Like what the heck. Be normal and pick up after yourself.
You could use recyclable glass or plastic containers instead of Ziplocs. Just sayin'. :)
Love your new blog look!
I always bag my groceries if there is no one there already doing it. Even with a toddler in the cart and 5 months pregnant, I do it. The checker says "thanks" and I say, "Why not? I'm self sufficient."
Or how about the people that still write checks and don't even get out the checkbook until they are given the total. What. Are. They. Doing. ???
@Rebecca & Andrea - thanks! I'm glad you like the new design. I woke up one morning and my dog kicked me out of bed, so this was a blurry-eyed creation I dreamed up!
@Michaelh - Haha! You know, I considered that. But it's impractical for me. I don't like tons of little jars - they slide around and are hard to find. The baggie is perfect for some reason. I'm just peeved that WF won't sell certain things that are pretty normal!
One of the grocery stores in my city has signs stating that the customers are responsible for bagging their own groceries to help prevent the checkers from getting repetitive motion injuries. It's too bad more stores don't do this.
Dropsies is probably the absolute best term I've heard in about a decade. And I cannot stand those who are guilty of the dropsies! I'm probably going to start yelling, "DROPSIES!" at my local grocery soon. And by probably, I mean definitely.
The Top 5 Things That Milena Really Just Said Out Loud:
5. "Huh bitches?!!"
4. "Lazy-ass-hoes"
3. "My unecessarily enormous Jimmy Choo hobo bag"
2. "Sour-faced beyotch"
(drum roll please)
1. "Bizarre Pavlovian response to the word "fries""
I think we should hang out and talk shit.
P
I have never heard of 'dropsies' before, and it does sound really annoying, but in reference to hobo bags (also annoying) knocking over apples, I'm throwing it out there that if I knock or drop produce onto the floor, I leave it there for an employee to grab, because I think its really rude to put something that has floor buddies and no doubt a huge bruise in it back on top of the pile for someone to grab. But dropsies of your own messes? Lazy-ass-hoes-fo-sho's.
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