I don't want to be just another person jumping on the Tiger Woods hate train, and I really do not intend to focus on the scandal of his ordeal, but more about the message it sends. The one about how people who supposedly have everything they could ever want are so terribly bankrupt emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. Woods clearly has deep deficits that his fame and fortune could not fill, and perhaps, created.
This is incredibly compelling to realize and think about. Especially because I'm frequently bemoaning the economic trials of living in Detroit on one income. I worry about the future and finding new income streams. I worry that our retirement savings are not piling up like I imagined they would or should. Working in finance, money is constantly on my mind. I come dangerously close to being ruled by numbers if I do not give myself frequent reality checks. Otherwise I can end up thinking that my net worth is some kind of a reflection of my self worth.
The reality is - if I simply change my money-obsessed thinking, I'd realize I'm much wealthier than most celebrities and ostensibly rich public figures, and it has nothing to do with my net worth. I have a wonderful, loving, supportive network of family and friends. I have a beautiful marriage that is built on love, trust, respect, and tons of fun. I have a dog that gives me unconditional love. I do not need to seek pleasure and joy outside of these simple and bountiful rewards. I do not need the stuff that I'm told I cannot live without. I may spend an entire life preparing to retire, only to die young. I know that sounds morbid, but it is true!
We cannot know what the future holds. There is a difference between being responsible with money and being obsessed with it. I do not need more than what I have right this moment to be happy, and in fact, even if it were to be taken away from me, I'm confident that my friends and family would still be there and my husband and I would find a way to make things work.
I know I sound super simplistic and Pollyana-esque - but I have to remind myself of these truths so I do not fall in the Tiger trap. There is nothing - not a single thing money or fame can give me to be truly happy and feel a sense of self worth. These things need to be cultivated completely independent of one's economic status, otherwise a whole host of problems follow.
Woods has demonstrated that being super wealthy and talented cannot bring anyone any guaranteed happy endings. To see a man who was considered a role model to turn so self-destructive makes me incredibly sad for humanity. So many of our goals in life are ruled by numbers - by goals that have nothing to do with the richness of our inner lives and the quality of our relationships. We worship things that are fleeting and ignore the things that make life worth living.
I know I sound like some happiness guru - but I have really been feeling this lately - not just reading it in books or hearing it preached. I have been truly realizing just how happy and rich my life is. I have been systematically and rigorously trying to rid my mind of negative, limiting thoughts, especially about money and numbers - because in my field of work it is so easy to become myopic and overly-focused on them. When the Tiger Woods thing happened, it just kept popping into my mind, how poor he was.
The good news is - even Tiger can become as rich as I am. He just needs to change his mind and do some hard work figuring out what exactly went wrong to bring him to such self-destructive behaviors. I'm not a psychologist, I'm just someone who has thought plenty about life, love, and happiness, and thinks she just maybe has figured a little something out.
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