1. Whole Foods won't let you purchase completely normal stuff. Like Ziploc bags. They are strictly verboten! I'm sorry, but my Ziploc bags aren't killing the planet. What else am I supposed to keep my leftover chopped onions and such in? I wash my bags and reuse them anyway - so why the boycott? Huh?!! I can't stand having to go to 8 different stores these days to get the items I like.
2. The Dropsies. I was tempted to put this under line item Epidemic because I keep seeing these lazy women drop food on the ground and not pick up after themselves. And yes, it's always women. And yes, @DaveBenjamin I'm still sexist. ; )
This is not like, "Oops, I have five kids and one of them dropped their cracker." Or, "Oops, I'm an old lady and can't bend over, but at least I'll tell the nice young sales associate." No - this is healthy, bendable, youngish women letting fresh produce roll around on the ground and then walk away. More like, "Oops, my unecessarily enormous Jimmy Choo hobo bag knocked over that stack of apples and I couldn't see because I'm wearing giant Gucci sunglasses in the grocery store." To those afflicted with Dropsie: it's a bad habit, and you are not invisible!
3. People Refuse to Bag Their Own Groceries. This is at least more understandable. I guess it's grocery store tradition and all. It's never occurred to me to NOT bag my own groceries if I'm able to do so. I figure it's the whole "pay it forward" concept, give the clerk a break, make the line go faster. But no, there is always some sour-faced Stepford Wife that cannot seem to budge from the credit card reader. What goes through her mind as she stands silently waiting for the clerk to ring, then bag her groceries, while others watch? I really want to know.
4. SpongeBob Sells Cucumbers from the Sea Floor. I did a double-take when I picked up this package. At first I was scared, but soon felt reassured, "Hmm, SpongeBob Brand produce...hit TV show...must be good at greenhouse farming too!" Seriously, does this sell more cucumbers? For instance, I'd like to see some stats on those "Apple Fries" I've heard about on TV. Does anyone fall for that? Like if you weren't already interested in apples or cucumbers, would a cartoon character or bizarre Pavlovian response to the word "fries" change your mind??
