Top 10 Signs You're In Your Third Trimester

photo by Clearly Ambiguous

I thought I'd compile a little Top 10 list about being almost 7 months pregnant, "You Know You're in Your Third Trimester When..."

10. People stop saying "You look great!" and start saying "Wow, you look big."

9. You wheeze when climbing one flight of stairs.

8. Your vet informs you the topical steroid you are supposed to administer to your dog could induce labor if it is absorbed into your skin and your first thought is, "Oh goodie!"

7. Your ankles represent doughy rolls.

6. You find inner peace via incessant complaining.

5. You have lost any shame about the fact you are wearing clothing a full 4 times your regular size.

4. The size of your bazooms can make any outfit look obscene.

3. You begin to wear dresses as t-shirts.

2. You buy another dog to take care of because you can't stand waiting for the baby anymore.

1. You stop thinking the baby kicking is cute, and begin to get scared of the day it will be able to beat you up.